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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Anna!
Thought I'd post this to clear up some 'mysteries' for men!!

For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when
dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to
understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one
single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you
get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points
system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings....+5
In the snow.....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team .....-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800

THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where"?.....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
Any other response.....-20

COMMUNICATION:
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well,
what do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000

GAME OVER - YOU LOSE



Before anyone takes offense It's a joke---ment to be funny.
 

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I know that's meant to be funny, but............Well, I've been single for almost 9 years, but that gave me the shivers :shock:
 

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I didn't know there were + points. I thought they were all -. :wink:

I have a friend that has a different theory. His theory is that no matter how much good you do all memory of the good disappears the instant the smallest wrong is discovered. From leaving the toilet seat up (why can't they raise it for us?) to dropping a single sock on the floor on the way to the washer.
 

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Thanks Deb

Thanks for the post, 1shotstopper. It is cute and humorous and
I copied it to send to some of my friends; but the truth of the
matter is that although we all joke about the opposite sex, be
it male or female, that if you really love someone and you've
been together for quite awhile, you learn that no one is ever
going to always do what you want or expect them to do, we all
make mistakes and it's not always 50-50.....it's usually more
like 60-40 (with you on the 'losing' end, of course), but we just
'suck it up' and keep on loving!

Annabelle
 

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Boy you got that right Hobie,you could come in bleeding,breathless cloths in shreds to anounce the world is coming to a end and she will bitch about the dirt from your boots on the floor.
 
G

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
You couldn't have said it better, Anna! I agree 100%!
The ones who 'expect' from their significant others, are the ones who are miserable all the time.
I know that some women are like that. I'm not, and don't know any who are.
I don't expect those things from my husband, I know he loves me and am very secure with our relationship!!

Sorry, Tubby, didn't mean to hash up old memories.

As far as the toilet seat, Hobie, I just ask that the lid is down, closed all the time! An open toilet is gross to me!! :roll:
If I 'lost it' for clothes on the floor, I would have been nuts long ago!!
(I'm not innocent either!! LOL) :lol: :lol:

Deb :)
 

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Thats way to complicated for me. :D I'm pretty lucky I guess, my wife pretty much expects me to act like a neanderthal so if I remember to wipe my boots, or an a special day take them off before entering the house she's pretty tickled. :D We used to have toilet seat problems but now, with the 2 boys plus me theres three standers & only one squatter so she's outnumbered. 8) Fixed her fanny! LOL :lol:
Really tho, why would someone sit on the toilet without looking first? I liken it to if I pee'd on the lid because someone left it down. Honestly I dont think she's in much danger, If by some miracle her butt actually fit in there the waters not too deep. :shock: :D

Not much my wife's got to whine about, she knew what she was getting herself into & I think she mostly likes it here. I know I'm glad I found her. :D
Anna will remember awhile back she got uppity cuz I got my 3 year old godson a 22. Couldnt figure out why & Anna sure was helpfull but I think even tho its mostly water under the bridge she's still a little put off.
I think I figured out why, she's jelous cuz I never buy her any guns! So, tommorows our aniversary & I got her a brand spankin new 10/22 Ruger. :D A stainless bull barrel. Hope she likes it. :D I put a 3-9 Simmons on it I had laying around & if its not raining Sunday I'm gonna drag her out to the range like the old days.
If she dont like the gun I guess I can keep it & get her a new mop or broom. :twisted:
 

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you write us from the hospital -you hear?
 

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Its ok I'm not in danger.
Worked out real nice, I got her a 22 I really like & she got me a stupid little parrot bird thing she really likes. :D

Only thing that sucks is the weather :cry: , aint going to the range today but I did whack a fat rat that came up from the pond after the bird feeder fallout. Got him with grandpa's old 22 cal crossman air rifle. :D
I dont know how old it is but he had it as long as I remember, least since I was 12 or so years old & it didn't look new then.
Aint much to look at but it puts down squirrels & rats with authourity. :p
 
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