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tell a funny vehicle story

1049 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  jackdaniels
okay I got one. I absolutely hate breaking in flat tappet cams. about 6 or 7 years ago I pulled the motor in my 74 Nova. took off the heads and installed bronze guide liners. blended the valve guide bosses and spent hours and hours carefully blending the intake and exhaust ports.

next I bought a Isky megacam 274 advertised, narrow lobe sep, good lift, etc. Installed that booger while on pins and needles. you know how it is pulling out the old cam trying not to knick the bearings and carefully twisting while pulling......

okay so I got the motor back in. I knew I didn't want to spend a lot of time cranking the motor to start, concerned about the cam lobes. so I had every thing set, #1 on TDC, carb primed, and screwed the idle adjustment in until it looked to be an estimated 2500 rpm. all I had to do was hit the starter and she would fire right up, and be at 2500 rpm for the break in period! good to go!

I was always worried that a car idling at 2500 rpm could be a killdozer if something happened and it popped into gear, so I put two jackstands under the 8 1/2 rear end. walked around checking this and that, rechecking until the unavoidable......hey man, do it! its all ready.

so meanwhile my son was about 6 months old and sitting there next to the car in his little carseat, real quiet, just watching everything all nice and cozy.

I got in the car and just as planned, when I merely bumped the key the car started right up and took off to 2500 rpm. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I start walking around and checking gauges and looking at the motor, checking for anything leaking or not right. meanwhile its kinda loud and there is that sumptious aroma of gasket sealer heating up.

I turn to look at my son, and though I can't hear him because of the motor noise, obviously when the car started it scared the crap outof him and I see his red contorted twisted screaming face. he is not happy!

so I grab him and take him out of the garage and with me holding his car seat like a bread basket with one hand we go out to the picknic table, where its a little quieter and there is fresh air. I take a deep breath, relax and sit there for a minute, when I turn my head back to the garage, all I can see is the rear tail light panel of my Nova. there is black smoke billowing out of the garage. oh sh................. I run back in there and expecting the worst, find out it is a power steerting return line that has a crack or hole and is spraying ATF all over the driver side hooker header. I shut the motor down and it spun down to a halt and man was that a mess.

but hey it ended well and I miss those days already....

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That's funny you said about the baby-My short story happened when my Wife was about 8 months pregnant with my son. I have a 1990 5.0 Mustang with all the goodies-Aluminum heads, custom ground split duration cam, headers, x-pipe, no cats, etc.---you know, nice and loud--the kind of car the neighbors love to hate!!! One evening we were going to go and get some ice cream. My wife was standing outside the garage waiting for me to get the car out-I fired it up and as I backed the car past her I noticed she was bent over with a painful look on her face. She slowly got into the car and I asked what was wrongy with her. She said when I fired the car up, it seemed like the baby did a somersault inside her and drop kicked her in the ribcage!!! My son is 18 months old now and his eyes just light up when I start that car-Gotta start em young!!
Well this isn't funny to me but my family loves it. A few weeks ago we were talking about my son learning to drive. He is 14 now. He was dead seriouse when he said. "I know money is tight and I know with Hannah in college you won't be able to buy me a car. It's ok, I'll just take the Bronco." I almost cried. My sone wants to steal my 74 Bronco from me. Where is the love?
When I was about 21 or 22 I had a Ford Econoline van. I bought it from a halfast mechanic who had swapped trannies. It was an automatic but just had a shifter lever sticking thru the floor. No buttons or safties, you could start it in gear & bump it from park to whatever. I live on Long Island sound & used to drink in a watering hole across the street from a city park that had a boat launching ramp. Well, one night I had a few too many & decided trying to drive home wasn't smart.
So I drove across the street to the park, as I'd done on similar ocasions many times to spend the night in the van. I pulled in facing the water & parked, but decided in my befuddled state that since it was cold I'd leave the van running with the heat on. As I hopped between the seats to get in back my foot hit the shifter & knocked the truck into gear, I wasn't directly in front of the boat launch so there was no ramp, just parking lot & then water. By the time I got into the seat & my foot on the brake the truck had died and when I opened the door the water was up to the seat. :eek: :D. I couldn't even go to sleep because it was coming onto the floor in back, when I jumped out he back doors it was well over my knees.
I just called my girlfriend to fetch me & left it there figureing I could get it out the next day at low tide.... But it was gone & the police had been at my parents house looking for their idiot son that parked in the water. ;D I had to go to the cop shop to find where they towed it and try to explain. I said I parked it there at low tide & the tide came in while I was away so I left it till the morning. ;D I dont think they believed a word I said but figured I had enough problems & just told be where it was trying to keep straight faces as they did.
Times are different & today I imagine I'da got arrested, but Ahh to be young & invincibly stupid! :D
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When I was 13 years old My family moved from Alabama to Louisiana due to his job.During the transition my Dad had our old place up for sale and we would make a trip every other week to check on the property.On one of those trips my Dad had drank a few to many Jax beers and had passed out.I had thus far never experienced the sweet taste of alcohol.Well that changed when I found a six pack that Dad had managed to not drink up before he crash landed for the night.After consuming the entire 6 I was to say the least feeling pretty good and I decided to borrow the family car(a 1957 Chevy with the ignition that if left in the unlock position you could crank without the key)and drive over and visit one of my friends.As I drove over in my drunken condition I over shot his driveway and I decided to turn around in his neighbors drive way.In my blurry eyed state I thought you could enter on one end of the drive and exit on the other.What I didn't know was that the other end was washed out from recent rains and by the time I did know the front and rear bumpers where sitting high and dry on opposite banks and all four tires where spinning in the air.I got out and staggered around in the peoples yard looking for something to help me get the car out.I found a couple of saw horses and broke them all to peaces trying to get the car unstuck.Well anyone that was not three sheets to the wind could tell right off that was a lost cause.I finally gave up and walked about two miles back to the house and passed out as soon as my wore out body hit my bed.It seamed like only a couple minutes had past when I was awakened to my Dad yelling : SOME LOW LIFE %$#& SO AND %$#& SO HAS STOLEN MY %$#& CAR !!! and : DO YOU KNOW ANY THING ABOUT IT ???With my heart racing I shook my head and said : no sir I don't no nothing.After looking all around the property Dad says : I'm calling the police!! I don't know where I was thinking the outcome of this drama was going but until that moment I had not even thought of the Cops.Now that I was thinking of them I knew I did not want them involved.It was every thing I could do to say : You don't have to call the police,I know where the car is.After explaining the situation Dad and I jumped on the tractor and headed over to the scene of the crime.After we arrived and every one in the neighborhood was standing around looking the situation over my Dad kicked me square in the rear end and I went sprawling across the yard right in front of every one and he told me something that I have never forgotten.He said I did not kick your a$$ because you got drunk and took the car and ran it into a gully.I kicked your a$$ because you took someone else's property and destroyed it.You don't take any thing that don't belong to you no matter what the reason.He made me apologize to the saw horse owner and offer to pay him for the damage which the man thankfully declined.Any way it took our tractor and another neighbors tractor chained in tandem to pull the car out.As we left headed home we agreed that Dad would not tell Mom about the car if I did not tell her about the beer.Who needs that aggravation? ??? ::) JD
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