[Lonerider]

I don't normally ask for prayers, but I think I need to make the exception tonight.

This has been one of my worst days ever....doesn't appear its going to get any better any time soon.

There's really too much to go into tonight. I can only say the particuliar testing, that God has allowed, may be a little more than I can handle.

I have had many set backs in life....we live in a falling world, so this can be expected. Yet when day after day a person is bomb barded by dissappointments, broken dreams, wounded hearts, and gut wrenching tears, even that person can loose sight of hope.

In this forum, we are fortunate enough to have many that have faith in something greater themselves. We may not always agree with one faith over another and that is OK. The common bond, is the desire to encorage, lift up, and reach out to those tha may be hurting or in need. To me, it does not get any better than that.

Unfortunately, for me, I know longer have the faith, that God actually cares enough to innercede.

Not sure how things are going to shape up, its not looking good. Pretty much have given up any hope of some issues being resolve in a positve and productive way.


I do not know what is worst the Prostate Cancer, or a wonded heart.

i know that I am being a little vague and I apologise for this. I am just a little of a emotional wreck right now. Most of the time I try to be positive and will be again.

But, just need a little help with my lack faith tonight.

Lonerider

 

[Oz]

Tomorrow is a new day Ole Mate. You say a prayer and I'll do the same.

Stay strong,
Mark.

 

[Catherine]

Lonerider,

Prayers sent your way. Please take care of yourself.

Catherine

 

[marlinluvr]

Prayers sent! Staying strong during trying times can be difficult, but we are all here to give you support! I currently know several people going through or have had some type of cancer and they are ALL doing ok. It's a scary situation, but you'll pull through it and be stronger for it!

 

[moofy07]

The next day is always better. prayers sent.

 

[miatakix]

Man, it just hurts to hear...heartbreak, facing the specter of death, feeling at the end of your rope, I've been there...prayers sent.

"At that time Jesus said, "I praise You, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and intelligent and have revealed them to infants. Yes, Father, for this way was well-pleasing in Your sight. All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.""
Matthew 11:25-30, NASB

 

[Tedak]

Prayers sent for you, Lonerider.

"Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46 v 7

 

[Jake]

Prayers up Brother.

 

[Lonerider]

I have made it through another day or I should say morning, day is not over yet.

Thank you folks for your kindness. I admit, that I feel a little foolish and embarassed.....asking for prayers from those I have never met.

My faith is weakend, not sure if the cry of my heart is even being heard. I supposed the selfish part of me, is in the hope, that even though I may be a mess.....maybe, just maybe, God will hear you guys and gals.

How does one find hope, when everything is crashing down around them?

In the last week or so, many of you have shared the struggles and glitches that have come on to your family. I am thinking of MM and Catherine and there is a gentlement going through a divorce......how sad is that.

I am a little wierd, inspite of my world crashing around me, I hope beyond hope, that at least in your cases, that God will show himself and make himself known to those that are struggling or just had something precious taken from them....friend, family...

Gotta go, will try to explain tonight when I get home.

Thank you all, I know there are brothers and sisters in worst shape then I, but thanks again for the kind words.

Lonerider

 

[tlc361]

I don't have words to offer, I too can make a similar post. It seems as if we are tested beyond our abilities. What I can do is the same as others, I offer my prayers along with you. May God grant the strength for us to continue.

 

[gunrunner]

Prayers sent.Ive been on both sides of the Lord myself Lonerider.Ive said it before nothing hurts like a broken heart. If you need someone to talk to,fill feel to PM me Brotherman. Gunrunner,,

 

[Cajun]

Lonerider never feel embarrased about asking for help we are family here and if a family member needs help then we offer our help I will pray for you my brother!!Stay strong everything is gonna be ok!!I know where your coming from the Lord has tested me many times throughout my life!!Everything will work out my brother just hang in there and stay strong and think positive!!Prayers are being sent your way for you and your family!!
May God Bless!!!

 

[Lonerider]

...Ive been on both sides of the Lord myself...

How does that work Gunrunner? I mean, I understand...but why?

Folks, thank you for your kindness. I made it through the day without a major set back.

Was sent home early...only becuase we were at that weird spot...where simply not much for me to do.

On my way home, through town, saw an retired couple sand bagging their home. Deer Lodge, MT is flooding out. I just got home....started helping around noon, its now 9 something pm. Never met them before...I have only been in Deer Lodge for a week.

At one point, there 3 dozen folks tossing sand bags, several hundred yards of dirt and rock, and the river is still rising, but I think, they should be able to get through the night. two retaining walls have fallen and a bridge taken out I heard, don't know for sure. So, for you folks on the westside of the divide, get ready, its coming and its coming with a vengence.

I guess the lord decided that if I was kept busy, I would not dwell on the issue at hand or the consequences.

In the next day or so, I may be fired or in jail. Sometimes...things do go bump in the night...and there are actually things to be afraid of.

There is a saying the been around for a long time...in essesnces its said....

'time will heal all wounds'...unfortunately, that is not true....who ever said that.....has no idea what the real world is like. Time does not heal all wounds....time will only numb the pain, so a person can funtion.

Though I struggle with the prostate cancer ( will have surgery in sept) its the matter of the heart that has taken me down.

Coupled with the fact that I have totally drop the ball with my new employer, to where now there is a serious issue of confidence, reliability, and integrity. I once had all three, but not now and its making it difficulty for my new boss to trust me. Can't blame her.

when its all said and done, it really has to do with my trust level with God.
not doing real good in that department these days.

Mostly because of the betrayal I feel from God.....Love is suppose to be active not passive....big difference.

Folks, again thank you for your prayers and kind words....I don't have the faith that things will turn out right....to many past experiences that has shown me different.

I do not want this to be a pity party, though it is sounding like it.
The title for the thread was incorrect...yet applicable....

So I guess I will ask the question.....how do we keep going, when all hell break loose?

Thank you all, I made it through another day because of you.

Lonerider

 

[tlc361]

Lonerider

Life as I now know it started when I found my wife was having affairs with anyone that bought her drinks at the bars she started going to, we were a christian couple, I was an ordained minister and was an active part of my church and its radio ministry.

The end of the marriage was her choice and I was left penniless and alone, the woman I loved and the children I cherished were gone. I even lost my place to live. I then lost my job. The next job resulted in a great promotion to an engineering position, how ever that resulted in on the job injuries that ended my non-degreed engineering career. Next came schooling which gave me the credentials for engineering jobs (no more tool box beginnings). Six months after school and no job, then a great job and a good woman. Then the job crashed, next another good job then the high tech crash and no job for the next few years.

Then a job and a cancer scare, almost lost that good woman. Next lost the job, and fighting the lawsuit that came out of it. etc. etc. I haven't even talked about the kids but they are ok for now (adults raising their own families).

Through this time I have looked down the barrel of my gun several times and only have God to thank for not ending it. I to feel as if God has given me more to bear than I can handle.

I have come to live by this thought:

If there is no way to deal with a problem, then it is not the right time for it. When the right time comes along God will provide an answer or a way to handle it. Until then there is nothing I can do about it, so I must leave it in his hands.

I feel for you, I am facing a crisis of faith at this time also.

During this time I have felt abandoned by God and all, have watched God bless others and even some evil doers, and yet I struggle for each minute of the day. I do not understand it either.

 

[moofy07]

Stay the path my friend, there is really some who is up there and is on your side. I have had health problems myself and I feel we are being tested to dig deep inside to find our inner strength. You WILL make it my friend, I have prayed for you.

 

[gunrunner]

Meaning Ive been mad at and trying to run away from the God. To loveing and running to Him..Id better PM that to ya.
Gunrunner,,

 

[Lonerider]

Its not my intent to keep this thread going. But I do want to say thank you to all that have responded or took a peak and said a silent prayer.

I am humble by each of yours encouragements and humility of sharing.
Overall I am generally an up beat person. but feel that I am in a season of deep saddnest and regrets. I have been trying to find the 'silver linning' or the 'rainbow', with no luck. Been told to hang on....but I have nothing to hang on to. Some would say, just hang on to God, this is no longer an option at this point.

I am going to take some time out from the forum and other activities and try to take a deep breath and figure out what in the world is going on.

But the bottom line is, I just do not have the faith that is required at this juncture of my life.

Hopefully my time out will not be long.

From the deepest recesses of my heart....thank you for showing your kindness and tolerance of someone such as me.

As I mentioned to a brother....Its my sincere hope, that the God of your life, will grant to you.....the SECRET DESIRES of your HEART!!!

Lonerider.

 

[Cajun]

Lonerider you take all the time you need my friend we will be here for you if you need us!!!I pray for many blessings to come your way!!!I hope everything works out for you and we will miss you but I also understand the taking a break for awhile too!!!Take time to back up and evaluate the situation and hopefully with God on your side everything will work out for you!!In the meantime take care my friend and May God Bless you with many blessings!!!Take Care my brother and remember if you ever need us we will be here for you and will help you in anyway we can!!!