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670 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Anna! I know that some people on this board aren't as computer savvy as others, but I don't think anyone here is this bad. This should make us all feel smarter. :roll: :wink:

Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is technologically
challenged 'cause you "ain't seen nuthin" yet. This is an excerpt from a
Wall Street Journal article about real people with computer problems:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key"
to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where
the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
 3. A confused Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in
front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
    longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap
    and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the
    keys and washing them individually.
(Yes...these are for real!! )    

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged     
because his computer had told him he was "Bad" and an "invalid."
The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
    responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He
    told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer."
The user said he had even tried turning the computer screen to face
    the printer, but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed
the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot
pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse..
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new
    computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in
    and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When
    asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked,
    "What power switch?".
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in
the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it
said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in." The user hadn't
realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant after removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare System Tech :
     CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
      TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
     CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
      warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
    TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
     CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
      TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because
I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a
trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have
any trademark on it?"
     CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a
      promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't control himself; he was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive!
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his
printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least:
  TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the "control" and "escape"
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
     CUSTOMER: " I don't have a 'P' ".
     TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
     CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
    TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
     CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
    :shock: :mrgreen: :lol: :mrgreen: :roll: :mrgreen: :shock:

729 Posts
Thanks for sharing Braveheart. Now I don't feel so bad about being a computer dummy. :lol: :lol: :lol:

670 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I got a good laugh from that one, Braveheart. It makes ya wonder how some people survive in this world. :shock: Of course, these same people who are "dumb as dirt" when it comes to computers, are probably geniuses when it comes to something else! :D


888 Posts
Recently our Service Manager bought his wife a neither of these kids has ever had a computer before, much like myself when I first got mine, so I could understand their frustration when they called me.

As soon as I answered the phone, the young man immediately started ranting, telling me how he was standing in front of the computer with an axe and had full intentions to use it! :shock: ... LMAO

So playing along I explained to him how that was going to be awful hard on the puter though I totally understood where he was coming from and for him to please put down the axe and back away from the puter.

Then his wife gets on the phone very upset and explains to me that the foot pedal doesn't work and sais she'll be d***ed if she's getting a mouse just so she can work her friggin' computer! :?

I'm practically dyin' listen to them both carrying on ... I sat the phone down because I couldn't talk if I could get a word in edge-wise anyway, grabbed my keys and drove to their house {2 miles away}.

I walked in and they were STILL on the phone thinking they were talking to me yet ... LOL ... they carried on another 5 minutes before they realized I was standing right in their house and they only noticed me because I couldn't contain myself any longer and was cracking up laughing.

Once we all got our scrupples back...I gave them a crash course in puters they still call occassionally but not as upset as they both were first time. :D
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