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Dear Ms. Anna. I've been married 28 years to the same Lady. Made almost every mistake known to man, even invented some new ones according to the Mrs. and have forgotten every important date at least twice. MY memory never was very good anyway. How about a short list of do's and dont's for the younger members of the forum?
 

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Short?????

Larry
 

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DO'S AND DONT'S

Dear KyBlue51,
Here's some advice:

Interpretation Guide for Men

"FINE"
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "FINE" to describe how a woman looks-this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

"FIVE MINUTES"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

"NOTHING"
This means something, and you should be on your toes. "NOTHING" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "NOTHING" usually signifies an argument that will last "FIVE MINUTES" and end with "FINE".

"GO AHEAD" (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset
over "NOTHING" and will end with the word "FINE".

"GO AHEAD" (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow GO AHEAD" in just a few minutes, followed by
"NOTHING" and "FINE" and she will talk to you in about "FIVE MINUTES" when she cools off.

"LOUD SIGH"
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "LOUD SIGH" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "NOTHING".

"SOFT SIGH"
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. A "SOFT SIGH" means that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

"THAT'S OKAY"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "THAT'S OKAY" means she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "THAT'S OKAY" is often used with the word "FINE" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow

"GO AHEAD!"
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.

"PLEASE DO"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "THAT'S OKAY"

"THANKS"
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint! Just say you're welcome.

"THANKS A LOT"
This is much different from "THANKS". A woman will say "THANKS A LOT"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "LOUD SIGH". Be careful not to ask what's wrong after the "LOUD SIGH"; she'll only say"NOTHING".

ANNABELLE
 
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I have found that time wasted trying to talk to women is non-productive. Unless they want to talk about guns or hunting dogs. It's like trying to talk to a Chinaman is Spanish!
 
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Good answer, Birdy! Been looking for you on the assorted fora, how ya doing? I Spent the last three days moving from the boonies to suburbia, the little woman is happy with the new place but now my shooting range is ten miles away. Have to go now, promised I wouldn't cry in front of the fellas.......sniff. :cry:
PJ
 

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NOT ALL WOMEN SAME!

BOA,

First of all...you should never put all women in the same
category, just as women shouldn't think all men are the same!

Next, maybe the reason you have such difficulty with women
is because of the "sucky" attitude you have toward us
women!!! :x If you don't show us respect, why should we
show you respect by listening to what you have to say??

ANNABELLE
 
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Well, I was able to pick out a word or two. But that's about it. I see you use the words sucky and attitude together. And yes, being able to sucky with attitude does usually earn a girl a bigger tip. But somehow I don't think that's what you meant. So in response I would say, "Ni how, Senorita." Also I see the word category. And the words women and men. Categorization is a male trait. So, I assume you're categorizing men and women. But it's just a guess. To help you out, I'll let you know that there are two categories of women. Ladies and Feminist Bulldykes. As for men, there's only one. We all would like a beer and to see something naked. That pretty much sums it up. I also see you using the word respect. I'm not sure in which context you're using it. But respect is something that is earned. Not given out of hand. Very few women have earned my respect. But for a reference to those that have, see my comments on Ladies or sucky with attitude. Buenos Dios Ling Ling! :)
 

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I certainly don't put all women in the same category as I would not want to be put into the wife beater category.I have respect for those that get out and try in a mans world.I have been to the Police hand to hand training with my wife and there are some that can handle themselves pretty well considering.There are those woman than can hunt and shoot with the best of men and ride and pack just as good or better.

No-Not all woman are the same as all men are not either.There is good and bad in both cases.

Just my opinion.Jayco.
 

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Of course.We get along better when she's at work.I know who wears the pants in our house???? :cry: What's that old saying?Two Roosters on the same branch.

Just my opinion.Jayco.
 

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B of A,
How does a female "earn your respect" when she is obviously so inferior to you, she has to start out with one strike against her? (Maybe two, or three?)
 
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mm93,

It's a joke son! A joke! LOL! :) See the little smiley faces throughout the text? It's a darn joke! ROTFLOL! :) But as long as we're on the subject, inferiority is not the point. No two things as different as men and women could ever be equal. It's like apples and oranges. To try and compare the two is ludicrous. They each are what they are. Neither better or worse. Now hand me that beer and show me something naked! LOL! :)
 

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Birdman of Auburn said:
mm93,

It's a joke son! A joke! LOL! :) See the little smiley faces throughout the text? It's a darn joke! ROTFLOL! :) But as long as we're on the subject, inferiority is not the point. No two things as different as men and women could ever be equal. It's like apples and oranges. To try and compare the two is ludicrous. They each are what they are. Neither better or worse. Now hand me that beer and show me something naked! LOL! :)





:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
 

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Birdman of Auburn said:
mm93,

It's a joke son! A joke! LOL! :) See the little smiley faces throughout the text? It's a darn joke! ROTFLOL! :) But as long as we're on the subject, inferiority is not the point. No two things as different as men and women could ever be equal. It's like apples and oranges. To try and compare the two is ludicrous. They each are what they are. Neither better or worse. Now hand me that beer and show me something naked! LOL! :)
Here you go...
:lol: :lol: :lol: Maybe you need to be more specific. :roll: :lol:
 

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

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Hello Riflemen: Anna, I want to thank you for those definitions. I just wish I had learned them on my own 33 years ago! Judging from the responses you are getting on this thread your work is going to be cut out for you. However, I'm thinking you are up to it and your perspective is refreshing. BestLever
 

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Anna,

What does "GO AHEAD" mean when she has only one eyebrow raised while a smirk is on her face? :?:
 
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