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670 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD,
but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah........
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in
the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen...
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...
it's still on my desk... sorry....
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me!
I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've
even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the
monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it!
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one works!
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a, as in apple,
a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screensaver on my computer, but every time I
move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but
how do I get the circle around it?
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer:
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that's a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window, and his printer is working fine."
And last but not least:

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to
bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: [email protected]#*@#........I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
Do things go like this for Larry?? Do any of you ever have
these problems????


1,591 Posts
You forgot to mention that tech support spoke with a strong Pakistani accent!! :? SW

461 Posts
The last tech support person I talked with sounded like he was from Pakistan with a stutter... or was that an auctioneer with chew in his jaw??? No... it was an eastern accent.. yeah... that's it! Never did get the problem solved. I guess I need to learn Pakistaneese.

670 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
OK, it doesn't matter what dialect the 'tech support' people was the callers who had 'brain farts' or were just
plain 'ol D-U-M-B, at least when it came to computers.
:roll: :wink: :oops: :shock:

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