Marlin Firearms Forum banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
670 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD,
but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah........
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in
the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen...
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!
========================================
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
========================================
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...
it's still on my desk... sorry....
=========================================
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
=========================================
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on start for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me!
I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!
===========================================
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've
even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the
monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it!
==========================================
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
==========================================
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
supermarket.
==========================================
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one works!
==========================================
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a, as in apple,
a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
==========================================
Customer: I can't get on the internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
==========================================
Tech support: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
=========================================
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screensaver on my computer, but every time I
move the mouse, it disappears.
=========================================
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but
how do I get the circle around it?
=========================================
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer:
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that's a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window, and his printer is working fine."
========================================
And last but not least:

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to
bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: [email protected]#*@#........I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do things go like this for Larry?? Do any of you ever have
these problems????

Annabelle
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,591 Posts
You forgot to mention that tech support spoke with a strong Pakistani accent!! :? SW
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
461 Posts
The last tech support person I talked with sounded like he was from Pakistan with a stutter... or was that an auctioneer with chew in his jaw??? No... it was an eastern accent.. yeah... that's it! Never did get the problem solved. I guess I need to learn Pakistaneese.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
670 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
OK, it doesn't matter what dialect the 'tech support' people
used.....it was the callers who had 'brain farts' or were just
plain 'ol D-U-M-B, at least when it came to computers.
:roll: :wink: :oops: :shock:

Braveheart
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top