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Annabelle,
I have a situation that I need your input on. You seem to be very fair and non-partial with your answers to people's problems and I respect that.

My boyfriend of 8 months, Brad, decided that he wanted me to learn how to shoot this little pistol that my father gave me before he died. We took the pistol to a local shooting range two days ago and Brad talked about gun safety, gave me some shooting pointers and spent some time helping me aim and shoot. It all felt so natural and I wasn't nervous at all, so Brad moved back and let me shoot on my own. It was great! I must have natural ability that I inherited from my dad, who won many shooting competitions, or something because in just a little while I was shooting like a pro. The guys at the range were impressed and couldn't believe I had never shot a gun before. I even did better than Brad shooting at the bullseye and other targets! I was so proud, then I noticed that Brad was acting strange...sorta like a mopey little puppy with his tail tucked 'tween his legs! Can you believe it??!! He's jealous because I shot better than he did and because the guys were giving me compliments. He's still not over it and he's driving me crazy with his sarcastic remarks. :roll:

Anna, why do some guys have such a fragile ego and what can I do to help Brad get over this??

Annie Oakley....
 

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Annie,

As a guy I'd say dump that dumb so-and-so and find yourself a real man. One that's happy for anyone's success.
 

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Oh, come on, Hobie! Don't be so quick for Annie Oakley to cut him loose; he may be Mr.Wonderful in every other way. Are you married?? Just curious....I'm pretty sure that you've needed your ego built up a time or two. :wink:

Braveheart
 

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I don't know, Annie. If you really care about him, rub his feet, spoil him a little, cater to his masculine ego and see if that helps. But I have to wonder if the issue extends to other areas of your life--if it does--do you really need a man who's going to feel threatened every time you are good at something?
 

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I agree, Red. As long as this is not a common occurance, than I would not worry to much. We have all needed an ego boost at one time or another.
 

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BRAVEHEART said:
Oh, come on, Hobie! Don't be so quick for Annie Oakley to cut him loose; he may be Mr.Wonderful in every other way. Are you married?? Just curious....I'm pretty sure that you've needed your ego built up a time or two. :wink:

Braveheart
Probably, but it was so long ago that I'm not sure of the day (or year)! :wink:

I'm sorry, but when a "loved one" is successful it is a time to rejoice, not pout like a child.
 

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Right on Hobie,to many "Girlie men" around these days.
 

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The key isn't that he has a bruised ego it is the fact he is using sarcastic remarks after the fact. If his ego is so bad that he puts you down, dump him quick he isn't worth having. On top of everything else it may be a control issue and those are the kind who become abusive.
First time I took my wife shooting she out shot me, like you a natural. I was not pleased (I was a police officer at the time and shot regularly) but I did not get sarcastic, I congradulated her and took her shooting more often. The better shot she is the better backup I have at my side.
 

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Factoid:

Women are better shooters than men.. they pay more attention to detail .. If a woman takes professional instruction , she will no doubt be acomplished at it..
My wife re qualified with a 280 out of 300 possible score.. hadn't touched a gun in a year.. and was using my 38 of all things.... I don't get sheepish.. I am damn glad she is a good shot.. .. She does have her own firearms and , no I don't make her mad.. :lol:
 

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My wife was watching us skeet shooting one day when I talked her into giving it a try. She picked up our sons 20 gauge 870 and smoked the first one that flew. I thought it was just luck. The second one broke coming out of the thrower and I yelled don't shoot, she ignored me picked out a small piece that was flying and powdered it. :shock: I wasn't mad just amazed. :lol:
 

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we be strokin'......

OK, thank you all for your input. You've all made some good points in your responses to Annie Oakley.
Now, my turn to "give it a shot". :wink:

Annie posted:
He's jealous because I shot better than he did and because the guys were giving me compliments. He's still not over it and he's driving me crazy with his sarcastic remarks.

Anna, why do some guys have such a fragile ego and what can I do to help Brad get over this??
ANNIE,
Bruised egos are not a "gender thing"; Some females have the same problem although, in MHO, guys seem to have a bigger problem with it than women. It can be brought on by so many different situations and because of so many different reasons. If your feelings for Brad are indicative of something more long term and you feel that he's worth fighting for....don't kick him to the curb yet! Try talking to him about this and see if you can find out what's going on with him. He may not even realize how he's acting or maybe something happened in his past that makes him feel so vulnerable. All the while you're trying to find out what the problem is, gently stroke his ego by saying nice things about him, make a point to notice outloud when he does something good and make a point to tell him how great he is at certain things. Just don't go overboard or be too obvious 'cause it will undo all you've accomplished. Good luck!

Annabelle
 

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On second thought, after reading "Sure-shot's" post, I think I'd go ahead and dump him; I think he's right about the sarcastic remark thing. I'd not only dump him but I'd start hanging out with his guy friends and shooting guns with them instead, they sound like much more fun. :)

Of course I once dumped a guy for messin' with my dog, but he certainly deserved it. Ick. Still gives me the creeps to think about it. This was a few years ago, maybe five, before the pilot. And I had just dated this jerk a couple of times, it was no real relationship and after the way he treated my dog it had no chance of becoming one.

SO--the moron came over one night to watch movies. He had not been to my house before, so I explained to him that one of my dogs does not warm up to people easily and that I do not require him to do so, and suggested that he not approach the dog, but it let be on the dog's terms.

So my dog is lying in the corner, not taking his eyes off the dirtbag, ready to pounce at the first wrong move, and the dirtbag decided it was funny to try to scare my dog. He kept stomping his foot, etc., and laughing when the dog jumped, and calling the dog a coward.

Needless to say, he didn't get to see me in my Victoria's Secret stuff that night (or any other night) and the next time he called, I gave him quite a piece of my mind and have not spoken to him since.

Dump him, Annie, and hang out with the fun guys.
 

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Gunjunkie said:
Factoid:

Women are better shooters than men.. they pay more attention to detail .. If a woman takes professional instruction , she will no doubt be acomplished at it..
Women are generally easier to teach than men. The exceptions? Women in a position of power. While men might have "ego issues" they are similar across all levels of "power" but powerful women seem to think, more than other women, that they must demonstrate that they know it all. A lot of that is habit and a simple explanation of the situation usually ends the problem. There are exceptions to every "rule" and obviously one is forced to speak in general when not addressing an individual. This based on personal experience of teaching/training hundreds of men and women, all motivated to perform.
 

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Sure-Shot said:
The key isn't that he has a bruised ego it is the fact he is using sarcastic remarks after the fact. If his ego is so bad that he puts you down, dump him quick he isn't worth having. On top of everything else it may be a control issue and those are the kind who become abusive.
First time I took my wife shooting she out shot me, like you a natural. I was not pleased (I was a police officer at the time and shot regularly) but I did not get sarcastic, I congradulated her and took her shooting more often. The better shot she is the better backup I have at my side.

I am not so sure that these sarcastic remarks are indicative of their entire relationship.

First time I had ever shot a gun, I out shot my husband. He was proud of me, but he has a very dry sense of humor. So, when he kidded me about it he sounded like he was making sarcastic comments. that is just the way it sounded not actually what he meant. But, if I had told him those comments actually hurt my feelings he would have apologized and not done it again.

So,maybe you should just talk to him, Annie. If he is seriously angry that you are a better shot then dump him. If he was kidding and did not mean to hurt you then try and work past it.
 
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