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Anyone know how I can hide 3 Marlins from the wife?

8K views 117 replies 66 participants last post by  Ben Dover 
#1 ·
Ok so I just won my auction the other day for a 1980 336 its gonna be my first marlin and It should get here sometime next week. I also have had an 1895sbl on order for about 2 months now. From what remington is saying they will start showing up in stores sometime this month I doubt it but we'll see. Now just today I find a new 91 series serial number JM stamped 336BL I really wanted one to begin with even before I bought the 1980 336 butI couldn't find any and I was starting to think they didn't really exist. So I sit here thinking is this gonna be the one I let get away and will regret that I did. The answer is ...... NO..... I sent the guy an email and told him to put it aside for me and I will call him tomorrow. Now I have only shot about 5 rounds through a guide gun but that was all I needed, I'm hooked. I just need to find a good way to justify this to the wife. Seeing that the safe is full of guns already I don't think this is gonna be easy.This brings me to my initial question, does anyone know how I can hid 3 Marlins from the wife?
 
#4 ·
You can hide that 336BL at my place if you want to sell it. :)

If you really want to hide it, I'd say get a scope or two to mount on one of any of your rifles, than complain how they don't fit in the safe now because the scope takes up too much room then stash one or two in the back corner of the closet or out of the way. To most non-Marlin fanatics, a lever gun looks like a lever gun. Just don't put them all next to each other, and slowly "buy" them over the course of a year or so.

Hmm... Probably just going to have to fess up sooner or later.
 
#8 ·
Use gun socks on all the guns in the safe.

Since the three Marlins are all lever actions, can she tell the difference between them especially if they are in gun socks? Only show one at a time.

However the most rational argeement to present is that you are investing, the Marlins will hold their value just like gold and you can actually use them unlike the gold.
 
#11 ·
Same empty case out the front door that comes back in (full this time)....they will all be a blur to her after a while...oh yeah..buy flowers, take her shopping..make special dinners and just be extra sweet to soften the blow when you get caught!! ;)
 
#13 ·
Why be dishonest? You bought that 1980 thinking it'd be your second choice behind that BL which you didn't think you would be able to get. But turns out you could get one. So you don't need the 1980 any more. Just tell your wife what happened tell her you're going to sell the 1980 336.
 
#16 ·
whoa whoa whoa wait a minute flag on the play. Now you're just talking crazy. who said anything about selling anything.


Lets stay focused here people.





She doesn't really care what I get she just thinks I'm crazy. I just thought this would be a funny topic and people would come up with some great ideas. So far so good.
 
#17 ·
It's really very simple; to women all lever action rifles look just alike. Just make sure you never have more than one in your hand at a time; and to fake her out, walk around the with one in your hand and fake tinkering with the sights or something. When the next gun arrives and she sees you wandering around the house with a lever gun, she'll think you're still playing with last gun she saw. And finally, don't bring a gun home in a box (especially with a price tag), don't stuff them as a group under the same mattress, bed, same closet, etc; stash them in scattered places she is sure to avoid. And to make sure she doesn't miss cash from the budget, establish a "rat hole" account into which you can slip a few extra dollars from time to time. Tell the bank to hold your statements so that something strange doesn't arrives in the mail; and if you follow these simple instructions and stay on plan you will be surprised at how much you can do provided you only use your rat hole money for gun stuff. This method worked great for me, for about ten years anyway; till I slipped up, but I had amassed a great collection by that time! My wife raised cain for years about my guns; but shut-up when I finally began the sell them off and she was making the deposits.
 
#18 ·
Tom, I think you have the right answer. My wife asked me how many I have now, I had to tell her that honestly, I didn't know. Then suggested that it was probably about the same as all her shoes and purses. Not gonna tell ya the look I got, but the subject was switched then. ;D DP
 
#19 ·
Stash your money in the safe, with the bank there is going to be a paper trail !! Do like I do the day your going to pick up the new gun load up some of your other ones and targets and tell her your going to range and bring them back in the house and if she is like my wife she'll never know the difference. ;D
 
#20 ·
Guess I've been pretty lucky. As long as the bills and stuff are getting paid, she doesn't really pay too much attention to guns, fishing poles, etc. Maybe it helps that for the last few years she's been living in town where her job and the kids' schools are, and I've stayed on the land.

Example: I bought a 17' fiberglass boat last May to put the engines from my worn out aluminum boat on. I worked on it last summer for about two weeks, fished it for summer salmon and then parked it in the driveway for the winter. Recently I put it in the river for spring salmon. She was with me the other day when I stopped by the dock to run the bilge pumps. She looks at it, and says, "Where did this boat come from, anyway? Have you had it long?"

I told her when I got it and why, and told her that she has been walking past it parked in the driveway all winter. She just shrugs and tells me that all my old boats pretty much look the same to her. She's never even seen all the guns in one place at one time. I guess the trick is to just overwhelm her senses with too many un-interesting objects for her to bother keeping track of....

To be fair, I have no idea how many spinning wheels, sewing machines, knitting supplies or boxes and boxes of fabric and yarn she has either. I think it's best that way for both of us.... ;D
 
#23 ·
I, too, use the empty case/ full case trick. harder to do when you trade guns, but yesterday I left with a Kahr and came back with a Glock and she did not notice the HUGE difference in cases. One black pistol case is the same as another to her. She hasent been in the safe for years.
 
#25 ·
trapper-xx said:
Tell her you are holding them for a guy that does'nt know how to explain them to his wife.
That is sort of the truth.
hahaha that's a good one! might have to use that down the line sometime ;)
 
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