Marlin Firearms Forum banner

1 - 20 of 41 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear Anna
I need to ask a woman to woman question. My husband has more guns than I care to know. But I would say between him and my son its probably around 40. Now don't get me wrong I do have a nice stainless mini 14 and a heavy barrel 223 savage myself. I occasionally hunt, fish and enjoy shooting at the range. I feel these sort of activities have the proper priority in my life and do not control it.

Now heres my problem I purchased my husband a nice sporterized Mauser 30-06 for his birthday in March. Just prior to that he had purchased for himself a Marlin 45/70. A few days ago I dropped him off at Cabelas and went shopping with my sister (big mistake). When I returned he was standing in front of the store with a big smile and another Marlin 45/70. He did not consult me before his impulsive purchase. This is 3 guns in about 2 months. Piled on top of the heap of guns he already has, sometimes they lay for days on my couch, dinner table, kitchen island on the living room floor he has them upstairs, downstairs, trunk of the car etc.
Anna We are not rich people and even so its not the money that bothers me, he works hard and deserves a special purchase OCCASIONALLY!! My real problem is I am very worried about him, he comes home from work and stares for hours at the Marlin Owners board then reads reloading manuals for a while then go downstairs and reloads and plays with his guns.
One time my sister was over he came upstairs and brought a box of shells, he had spent hours making different loads. He set the shells down and went to the bathroom. When he came out he realized my sister had mixed them all up. He was fit to be tied he told my sister to leave, and has just recently allowed her back in our home, she had to promise not to touch anything in our house. I don't know what to do, I know he needs help. Is there a medical term for this condition? Do you think he needs professional help? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Love, Desperate in Michigan
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,406 Posts
Speaking for Anna and of course not as wise.I recommend your sister sleep with a Marlin 45-70 for 40 days and then and only then be allowed back into your house.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Let me clear up a little something. When my sister rearranged his shells she thought she was doing a good thing. They looked more organized when she was done. The problem was she mixed up all of his different loads so all his work was wasted. It wasn't intentional though.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,406 Posts
Ah that is different,sleep with a 45-70 for 40 days and nights and with 500 rnds of mixed ammo.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I get a strange feeling here that I'm going have to wait for Anna. It seems Mr. Wizard, that you may very well be suffering from the same condition as my husband. :) :)
 
G

·
BOARGIRL said:
..Piled on top of the heap of guns he already has, sometimes they lay for days on my couch, dinner table, kitchen island on the living room floor he has them upstairs, downstairs, trunk of the car etc.
Love, Desperate in Michigan
I do hope that all of the firearms mentioned are properly secured and not just "laying around".?.?.?

Num_1_Dad
 
G

·
Boargirl, If I may reply woman to woman. I do not think your husband is acting abnormally for a typical gun-nut. Yes, I do think it would be nice if he would keep his guns picked up off the furniture, but I do understand how nice it is to lay some out occasionally just to enjoy looking at. As for the number of guns, you said around 40? I probably have close to that all by myself not counting the 6 apiece my sons have. So you see, I don't think 40 between them is an unreasonable number. Sometimes you run across some incredible deals on firearms (at least that is what I tell myself :D ) and these deals seem to run in cycles so that could explain multiple gun purchases in a short amount of time.

Now, as to the reloading. He did over react just a tad when your sister mixed up his handloads, but I do certainly understand his frustration. Go to the dollar store and buy about 8 different colors of nail polish, the brighter the better. Be sure not to get colors that are similar in shade. I bought yellow, white, red, neon orange, light blue, dark blue, silver, purple, and light and dark green. When he works up his loads he can dab a bit of nail polish on the primer of his finished cartridge and use a different color for each different load. Paint just the primer, that way when he reuses the case, the color will pop out with the primer. Then as he is writing down his loads in his record book he can dab a bit of the same colored polish in the margin (or wherever) next to each different loading. This way, even if he drops his box and everything comes tumbling out, he can consult his record book (which he had better be keeping :shock: )and he will know which is which. If you give him the polish and this tip, I'll bet he will be so grateful he will take you to dinner! :lol: :lol:

Just some suggestions. If he is otherwise thoughtful, helpful, and loving forgive him his gun-craze. Besides, look at all those guns you get to use too and didn't have to buy yourself!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My husband is very responable with guns.. I just thought I would make the story a little more interesting...Sorry didn't mean to offend anyone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
3Marlins thanks for the advice I feel a little better but still not completely convinced thats normal.. Maybe Anna and others can come and give us their opinion.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
14,841 Posts
BOARGIRL,

You didn't offend anyone :!: Go for it and welcome to MO,

Dave :)
 
G

·
Boargirl, If his passion was woodworking or fishing, would it make a difference in how you feel? Firearms in mass seem to unnerve people, but they are a hobby like anything else. It sounds like he is able to maintain a job that supports or helps support the family(that's more than a lot of men), he enjoys his hobby mainly at home and you didn't say anything about him neglecting his chores or responsibilities. He isn't hanging out in bars and coming home three sheets to the wind. He isn't being disrespectful or unkind, is he? You obviously also enjoy the forum (since you posted your question here) and also own a couple of firearms yourself. Is it that he spends more time at it than you would like? I think it sounds like a hobby that both of you have an interest in (he more than you) so it could be a great opportunity to do something together. Frankly, I don't see the problem. But, I admit that if you ask enough people, you will find someone who agrees with you that your husband has a serious problem. I don't think you will find that here though. Good men are not around every corner and it sounds like you may have a good one. I really do wish you the best.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
150 Posts
gun crazy

First off, Boargirl, don't apologize ever for asking questions (especially such intelligent ones) or posting your opinion here. Even if some might be offended, that's their problem, not yours. Speak your mind. This forum, and this country, needs more of you.

Second, you see already that your post is being taken both seriously and in jest. It is bound to evoke that kind of reaction. I sense that you are worried, and probably rightly so. But I also sense that you see, as do we, a lot of humor in the situation. Don't loose your humor or your ability to even laugh at yourself, as well as at us testosterone-driven neanderthals!

Third, 3Marlins makes some excellent observations and great suggestiond for helping your husband not only cope with his evolving addiction, but also with the reality that it may not always be shared or appreciated by others, including you. That nail polish tip is pure gold, and I bet Gale is right, that it will be highly appreciated.

Fourth, I think your concerns are valid. And your husband needs to respect and respond to them. We all get excited and carried away and lose track sometimes of what's most important. It may be that your husband is just going through a phase, but even if that's true, I think he would benefit from listening to you. From a security and safety perspective alone, I think he does need some help in rectifying some questionable habits that could be more than just aggravating. They could be disasterous. I concede that your husband is a safe and careful gun owner and handler, but your description of some of his activities and habits contradict that. Look, we all need to be reminded from time to time that these things we love are downright dangerous. Personally, I think both you and he would benefit, if you could help him and he would let you clean up his act.

Which is to say, if he doesn't want anyone messing with his handloads, he shouldn't leave them laying around. Likewise the guns themselves. Like 3Marlins, I do love having my guns out and about, but by and large I instinctly feel they need to be properly and safely stowed, if for no other reason than I don't want them disappearing. Your husband's likely very valuable collection is at least at serious risk of burglary.

Hope none of this offends anyone, because the bottom line is I am an certifiable gun nut. And if my wife actually knew how many I own, she'd probably load one up and shoot me.

I can justify each and every one I own (many of which were purchased because they were affordable or "good deals," as Gale says. But I would be the first to acknowledge that the collection itself is probably on the excessive side with numbers exceeding both your husbands' and 3Marlins' totals. And, to be sure, I have a few more than three Marlins. I like each and every one, but I would have to admit that some I have owned (and for years), yet have never shot. Now that's mostly for lack of time, but maybe that too is just an excuse or perhaps a symptom. It is not unreasonable to suggest that at some point the arsenal is redundant, even if some of us obviously like a little redundancy. I confess that I myself am struggling to find the right balance.

At any rate, I think the advise I offered above and by 3Marlins is really well-intentioned and that you should make every effort to be as understanding and supportive of your husband's other love (too strong?) as you possibly can be, esepcially since he sounds like a pretty good guy. (Do think he was a bit rough on Sis!) You probably already know that as hobbies (addictions) go, guns are far from the worst and can be very rewarding. So, try to indulge him.

And, as suggested by Gale, perhaps by investing more yourself in the collection just by taking more interest in its care, you might help your lesser half reform enough that both of you are having a bang up time.

Thanks for sharing,
Lazer
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Thanks everyone for your advice and welcoming me on the MO board.. :D
My conclusion is, if you can't beat em join em...But I don't know how my husband is going to react when I go downstairs, tap him on the shoulder and say honey its my turn to use the reloading bench..If hes nice I may let him clean my cases for me..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
670 Posts
Who's to say what's normal??

Dear Boargirl,
First off, welcome to the MO's board, and sorry it took me a while to
get back to you. That normally is not the case. :)

I think that you were given some good advice by Lazer and 3Marlins;
the nail polish tip 3Marlins gave you was right on the money. She and
I think alot alike. From what you have said, I don't think that your
husband is abnormal or has anything wrong with him. Most men (and
some women) have their "toys" and they're very protective of them.
I think your husband did over-react concerning your sister. Banishment
from your home is a little much, but I'm sure that he just couldn't
believe that he had spent all that time reloading and had things like he wanted them, and she mixed it all up! True, maybe he shouldn't have
left them sitting out, but it is his house and she shouldn't have touched
his stuff without asking. (I'm assuming that she's not married...I'd think
she'd know better if she was.)

I believe that in every relationship, that each partner should have the
time to do things that they enjoy on their own or with friends, but then
they should spend time doing things together. They should both have access to funds to spend on their "toys", also without causing the
household to be low on funds. You don't say that he's abusive in any
way; is it that he's not there for you or doesn't spend time with you?
You do have to be thankful, though, that this time is spent with the
guns and not in bars or with other women.

ANNABELLE
 
G

·
Boargirl, Thanks for posting your question as I have spent a great deal of time (only after giving you my opinion, of course :wink: )thinking about my gun lust(?). I do realize it isn't always sensible but they have been therapeutic for me and well worth the expense.(but don't ask anyone who knows me if I have a gun problem :)) I think it is terrific that you are going to scoot husband over at the reloading table and mix up your own. If he doesn't willingly accomodate you, send him to us and I, for one, will be more than happy to set him straight. :D

I most certainly am glad you decided to give the Marlinowners forum a try. We need not only more women but people like you who are openminded and willing to try new things. As you can already tell, we are a varied group. I tend to form opinions too quickly and without enough thought and do give advice too readily. Then there are those, who shall remain nameless, who think everything is solved by sleeping with it. :wink: Which isn't necessary a bad thing but may not be applicable in every case. Lazer is the pea outside the pod in that he is generally extremely openminded and accomodating, more than willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt and is always kind. Annabelle, in her unquestionable wisdom, seems to let the rest of us slog around in the mud while she waits on the sidelines with the garden hose. When we have exhausted ourselves she steps in with humor and common sense to get us lined back up and behaving ourselves. As a whole everyone on the forum is full of information, encouraging to others and not afraid to tell us when we are full of shot. :lol: I hope we can depend on you to write in often and let us know more about you. Oh yeah, don't forget to remind hubby that he got the last big toy so now it is your turn!! :lol: :lol:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Thanks again for the advice guys and girls.

Making my husband share the reloading bench is no problem, I can handle him. If he gives me a problem I'll take care of it the same way I was going to handle his gun problem. You see I have a secret weapon not just the one that all women have. You see our dog Rex has a certain thing about him. Whenever something that hes not use to is left layin on floor, he has a way of marking it. Thank God he's familiar with anything we have at floor level now. If he gives me a problem I will wait till hes at work, go into the basement find one of his favorite guns and place it on the floor. Good ol Rex will handle the rest. :lol: This process will continue until he comforms. It won't take long. :) :) :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
670 Posts
What about Rex??

Hi Boargirl, and welcome to the MO board. I'm another one of the few females around here. As 3Marlins had said in an earlier post, we do have quite a varied group here, but it's lots of fun and informative at the same time. We females do have to stand our ground around here sometimes, though. :wink: :)
I'm just a little concerned about Rex, your dog. I hope your husband really likes him 'cause I'd hate for him to take one of his prized possesions and shoot Rex for "marking" his guns!! :shock: :?

BRAVEHEART
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Hi Braveheart glad you posted along with the rest. About Rex I was only joking, that really wouldn't ever happen. I like Rex too much. My husband loves him very much, and no matter what he had done he would never take him on THE ONE WAY HUNTING TRIP. :) :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
670 Posts
YOUR HUBBY

BOARGIRL,

Is your husband a member here on the MO's board :?: and if so, what's his user name :?: if you don't mind me asking. Just curious since he sounds like the kind of member we need here. :)

ANNABELLE
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
33 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
HI Annabelle don't mind you asking at all.
My husband may or may not be on this board. Just for the sake of conversation, let say he is. Now its up to you all to figure it out.
You see Anna I want to be a mysterious lady like yourself. Seems no one knows forsure who you are with which adds a bit of intrigue. Does this make since to you? You know something, this ask Anna thing is fun.
:wink: :wink:
 
1 - 20 of 41 Posts
Top