international jokes from a friend in finland...
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  1. #1
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    international jokes from a friend in finland...

    The American President, Russian President and Greek PM are stuck in the desert after a plane crash. The only place around is a brothel and they rush in asking for a phone to call home. The madam tells them there is but because they're in the middle of the desert calls are incredibly expensive.

    The American President calls Washington; quickly tells his location, checks on the war and the economy and hangs up. The Madam tells him he was five minutes and that's a thousand dollars.

    The Russian President calls Moscow and decides to be quicker since his economy is buggered. He's on for a single minute giving his location and checking on the World Cup preparations. The Madam charges him 500 dollars.

    Then the Greek PM gets on to Athens. He asks about the football, his wife, the children, what's on television, how the preparations for Easter are going along, how his mother is etc. He's on 45 minutes. The Madam charges him 10 cents.

    "How come he paid so little?" the others ask.

    "It's cheaper from brothel to brothel," says the Madam.
    Oderint dum metuant

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    Re: international jokes from a friend in finland...

    another:
    This one is about how Congo's elite has underdeveloped this vast, poor, mineral-rich country:

    A Congolese minister visited a Cuban minister, who invited him to his stunning mansion. The Congolese minister asked how he'd done it. The Cuban minister took the Congolese minister to the window and pointed outside to a sparkling strip of tarmac. "You see that road? Well, my ministry oversaw it. And I took 10% for myself." The Congolese minister nodded thoughtfully.

    Years later, the Cuban minister paid a return visit. The Congolese minister couldn't wait to greet him and take him to his mansion, which was even more sumptuous than the one he had visited years before. "Wow, how did you do this?" asked the Cuban minister. The Congolese minister took him to the window and pointed out at the overgrown scrubland that filled the view: "I commissioned a road, too – 100%!" Katrina Manson
    Oderint dum metuant

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    Re: international jokes from a friend in finland...

    New Zealand

    An Australian rugby fan, a South African rugby fan and a New Zealand rugby fan are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for consuming the booze they are all sentenced to death. However, after many months and with the help of good lawyers, they are able successfully to appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the benevolent sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes.

    As they were preparing for their punishment, the sheikh announced, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

    The South African was first. He thought for a while, then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

    This was done, but the pillow lasted only 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done, the South African had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

    The Australian was next up. After watching the South African's horror, he said smugly, "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could take only 15 lashes before the whip went through and the Australian was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

    The New Zealander was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the sheikh turned to him and said, "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest. For this, you may have two wishes!"

    "Thank you, your most royal and merciful highness," the Kiwi replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20 lashes but 100 lashes."

    "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish"?

    "Tie the Australian to my back." Barbara McMahon
    Oderint dum metuant

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    Re: international jokes from a friend in finland...


    from england...

    A psychiatrist is giving a patient a Rorschach Test. He shows the patient a circle with a dot inside it and asks, "What do you see?" The patient replies

    "Two people are having sex in the middle of a circular room." The psychiatrist then shows the patient a picture of a square with a dot inside it and asks

    "What do you see this time?" The patient answers

    "Two people are having sex in a square room." The psychiatrist is intrigued. So he shows the patient another picture: this time of a triangle with a dot inside it.

    "What do you see now?" he asks. But the patient has had enough.

    "Doctor, why do you keep showing me these pictures? Are you some kind of pervert?"
    Oderint dum metuant

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    Re: international jokes from a friend in finland...

    Gunjunkie..

    "Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness." --George Washington

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    Re: international jokes from a friend in finland...

    The twisted are everywhere!

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    Re: international jokes from a friend in finland...

    Good one(S) !!
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    Re: international jokes from a friend in finland...

    The version I heard was that they were all in hell and one was a local call.
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    Re: international jokes from a friend in finland...

    Quote Originally Posted by biku324
    The twisted are everywhere!
    Yes we are
    Mike

    Keep a grin on........
    If you get better with age, I'm pretty close to MAGNIFICENT!!


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